There are certain…….shall we say challenges, with being an introvert. Particularly an introvert that everyone who knows you thinks of you as an extrovert. Like stop assuming I’d love to go party with you. I want to stay at home with my cat and binge Brooklyn-99 while eating Chinese food, alone.
As much as I adore makeup and dressing up I prefer pajama bottoms and a blanket.
Now I’m probably what they call an extroverted introvert. This sucks because everyone assumes you’re an extrovert. Nooooooooooooo!!!!!! I’m NOT!!!! I need you to leave me alone! Because your voice is driving me up the wall and now I just want to f****** punch you in the throat.
There is one rule and only one rule to remember about an introvert.
Rule #1: WE ARE UNPREDICTABLE SO ASSUME NOTHING
Like, seriously, don’t. We may seem unassuming but you may end up murdered in your bed otherwise. Or perhaps not. No two introverts are the same. There are so many varying types. Introverts may seem quiet, reserved, unassuming, shy even. Or maybe they are like me and seem like they love people and therefore you assume extroverted. But don’t, we are really mythical creatures that will stab you if you bother our alone/recharging time.
Stop assuming I like to be around people. Being an extroverted introvert is tough because we need to be in our own head and have to have alone time but we also like the occasional social event. That’s exhausting as both my head and the people around me are draining me. At the same damn time!
In fact, thoughts are swirling in my head at all moments of life, awake or asleep. Whole worlds live inside my head. I adore solitude and being alone. Even as an extroverted introvert I don’t have a need for human interaction. Instead when I go out it is because I choose to. And it is probably because somewhere in my cold black soul I care about you.
But after social events allow me to unwind and recharge. Remember I have whole worlds living inside my head, I’m tired, I’m twisted, and I do know how to bury a body.
So next time you try to mess with me or think I’m boring or ignoring you just remember I might be plotting your death or I may be planning your birthday party. You never really know. So always keep sharp objects away from me just, in case.
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