A broken heart can be one of the worst feelings in the world. Often times there is a healthy dose of non PG-13 level language thrown in. Well, with me at least. Since it is near Valentines Day I thought this would be an appropriate post. Even though a broken heart can be caused by non romantic events.
I have had my heart-broken dozens of times and in so many different ways. Which could be why I’ve often been called heartless. Well I might be, but it’s not because of a broken heart. Anyway, believe me when I say I hate a broken heart just as much as you do. We have all experienced the phenomenon, but how do you deal with that seemingly never-ending ache?
It seems impossible, right?
Wrong!! The pain will end and you will be one strong motherf*****.
To mend that achy little heart of yours you must do the following. Study them, because there will be a test.
1. Cry. I mean really really ugly cry. Make the animals run away and the babies cry with how ugly you cry. Crying is so underrated. It’s made to seem that crying means you’re weak. Well, people who think that about crying are the weak ones. Crying can be very healing.
2. Talk to someone. This might be difficult if you haven’t cried enough first. When you get your heart-broken it may be difficult to express how you’re feeling. It is important to talk to someone, even if you end up just talking about how much you want to cut someone. I mean someone did just break your heart.
3. Treat yourself. Preferably not with food or alcohol, because who wants to let that asshole have THAT much control over you? Choose something special, like a small gift of flowers or a small voodoo doll. It needs to be something that can brighten a day, or night, instead of just numbing the pain. Maybe buy this random mug.
4. Cuddle an animal. I’m serious, cuddling an animal can take so much stress away. They are not judgy little bastards, like people, and are known to be good for mental health. See, you’re already smiling.
5. Get out there. Don’t isolate yourself. Get your ass out there and mingle! The more you are alone the more you will dwell on the broken heart and the pain that comes with it. This could result in ill advised texting. Go hang out with friends or go to a fun movie, or go visit family. Maybe, if you’re feeling extra crazy, even branch out and meet new people.
6. Exercise. Getting off your ass is a great way to mend that broken heart. It helps you focus on your own well-being. It’s time to be selfish, yeah? MAKE YOUR BODY BANGING! Besides you know they say that exercise is the best anti-depressant.
7. Realize this is temporary. Believe it or not, it is. I know it doesn’t feel like that. But come on do you really think you’ll be miserable and in pain forever? Well, I guess it might happen but that is only going to be if you want it to be. Believe me. At a certain point it fades. That person will stop meaning anything and the details of the situation will fade. Then you’ll cringe and laugh. Come on trust me. This also means you shouldn’t do anything rash, like slash someone’s tires. Who wants a criminal record for a someone you won’t even care about in a bit? I don’t I want my criminal record to count.
8. Move on. Stop letting the bastard hurt you. Stop letting them/it control you. Stop being stupid. You are truly only hurting yourself if you hold on to it. It keeps you from being your badass self. There is nothing more freeing than saying f*** it and no longer letting someone control you. It is like a weight has been lifted and you begin to see clearer. Now run away from those negative feelings.
Of course, I hope you do not go through more heart-break in life, but it seems to be an inevitable thing. If it happens again just refer back to this handy little guide. Smirk. and remember it really comes down to how you want to deal with it and how deep the grave is. No, but in all seriousness, keep your chin up. Then dig a hole at least 6 feet deep.
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